Monthly Archives: January 2009

Only in America…

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Only in America…

Only in America …… do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

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Only in America …..do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

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Only in America …..do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

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Only in America …..do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage

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Only in America…… do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

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Only in America …..do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

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EVER WONDER…

EVER WONDER …

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens
our skin?

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Why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed?

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Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?

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Why is ‘abbreviated’ such a long word?

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Why is it that doctors call what they do ‘practice’?

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Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

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Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

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Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

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Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

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Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

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Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

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You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

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Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?

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Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

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If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

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If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

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A message from my Great and Amazing Grandma

Thank you so much for sending this to me, it has really helped me to see that I need to just keep going, keep my head up and keep trying to get through each day.

A woman answered a knock at the door.  It was the minister.  She invited him in and they sat down.  The minister had bad news for her.  Her husband and son had just been killed in an auto accident.

The woman excused herself and left the room.  In a few minutes she came back with cups of tea for them both.  She gave him a cup of tea, sat down, and picked up her tea cup.  The minister said, “how can you be so calm when you have heard such awful news?”  She said, “my mother told me what to do if the worst thing in the world that you can imagine happens.  My mother said — You do whatever you would be doing if it had not happened.  When you visit we always have tea together.”

I love you Alaska Sue! You and Grandpa Joe have the best thoughts all the time!