Category Archives: Random

Just Random stuff

Do I Understand This Correctly?

Do I Understand This Correctly?


Do I Understand This Correctly?

Let me see if I understand all of this…

IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY…

YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR


IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY…

YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY


IF YOU CROSS THE U.S. BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GE…

A DRIVERS LICENSE, A SOCIAL SECURITY CARD, WELFARE, FOOD STAMPS AND FREE HEALTH CARE


Maybe I still don’t understand.

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BANNED FROM WAL-MART…

BANNED FROM WAL-MART…

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.
Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women – she loved to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Gilbert
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store.  We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Gilbert are listed below and are documented by our
video surveillance cameras ..

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.

4 July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.’

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M’s on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he’d
invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘Mission Impossible’ theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through yelled, ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal
position and screamed, ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’

And last, but not least…

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very
loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here!’

Sincerely,
Wal-Mart

Good things to know!

Good things to know!

DID YOU KNOW?


Peel a banana from the bottom and you won’t have to Pick the little ‘stringy things’ off it. That’s how the primates do it.
Take your bananas apart when you get home from the store. If you leave them connected at the stem, they ripen faster.

Store your opened chunks of cheese in aluminum foil.

It will stay fresh much longer and not mold!
Peppers with 3 bumps on the bottom are sweeter and better for eating. Peppers with 4 bumps on the bottom are firmer and better for cooking.
Add a teaspoon of water when frying ground beef.
It will help pull the grease away from the meat while cooking.
To really make scrambled eggs or omelets rich add a couple of
spoonfuls of sour cream, cream cheese, or heavy cream; then beat them.
For a cool brownie treat, make brownies as directed. Melt Andes mints
in double broiler and pour over warm brownies. Let set for a wonderful minty frosting.
Add garlic immediately to a recipe if you want a light taste of garlic and at the end of the recipe if your want a stronger taste of garlic.
Leftover snickers bars from Halloween make a delicious dessert. Simply chop them with the food chopper. Peel, core and slice a few apples. Place them in a baking dish and sprinkle the chopped candy bars over the apples. Bake at 350 for 15 minutes!!!  Serve alone or with vanilla ice cream Yummm!
idth=1 DATASIZE=”8919″ obj ID=”10″ SRC=”aoladp://MA21872001-0011/image010.gif”>Reheat Pizza
Heat leftover pizza in a nonstick skillet on top of the stove; set heat to med-low
and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza. I saw this on the food channel and it really works.
Easy Deviled Eggs
Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal; mash till they are all broken up. Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up mixing thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy; squeeze mixture into egg. Just throw bag away when done – easy clean up.
Expanding Frosting
When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixer
for a few minutes. You can double it in size and get to frost more cake/cupcakes with the same amount. You also eat less sugar and calories per serving.

Reheating refrigerated bread

To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in
a microwave next to a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food moist and help it reheat faster.
Newspaper weeds away
Start putting torn newspaper in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil. Wet newspapers,
put layers around the plants, overlapping as you go; cover with mulch and forget about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic; they will not get through wet newspapers.
Broken Glass
Use a wet cotton ball or Q-tip to pick up the small shards of glass you can’t see easily.
No More Mosquitoes
Place a dryer sheet in your pocket.

It will keep the mosquitoes away.
Squirrel Away!
To keep squirrels from eating your plants, sprinkle your plants with cayenne pepper.
The cayenne pepper doesn’t hurt the plant and the squirrels won’t come near it.
Flexible vacuum
To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an empty paper towel
roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to get in narrow openings.
Reducing Static Cling
Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt
or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and … ta da! … static is gone.
Measuring Cups
Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill with hot water.
Dump out the hot water, but don’t dry cup. Next, add your ingredient (peanut butter, honey, etc.) and watch how easily it comes right out.
Foggy Windshield?
Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of
your car When the windows fog, rub with the eraser! Works better than a cloth!
Reopening envelope
If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside,
just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Viola! It unseals easily.
Conditioner
Use your hair conditioner to shave your legs. It’s cheaper than shaving cream and
leaves your legs really smooth. It’s also a great way to use up the conditioner you bought but didn’t like when you tried it in your hair.
Goodbye Fruit Flies
To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass, fill it 1/2 with Apple Cider Vinegar
and 2 drops of dish washing liquid; mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the cup and gone forever!
Get Rid of Ants
Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it ‘home,’ can’t
digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, especially if it rains, but it works and you don’t have the worry about pets or small children being harmed!
INFO ABOUT CLOTHES DRYERS
The heating unit went out on my dryer! The gentleman that fixes things around the
house for us told us that he wanted to show us something and he went over to the dryer and pulled out the lint filter. It was clean. (I always clean the lint from the filter after every load of clothes.) He took the filter over to the sink and ran hot water over it. The lint filter is made of a mesh material . I’m sure you know what your dryer’s lint filter looks like. Well … the hot water just sat on top of the mesh! It didn’t go through it at all! He told us that dryer sheets cause a film over that mesh – that’s what burns out the heating unit.
You can’t SEE the film, but it’s there. It’s what is in the dryer sheets to make your
clothes soft and static free. You know how they can feel waxy when you take them out of the box … well this stuff builds up on your clothes and on your lint screen. This is also what causes dryer units to potentially burn your house down with it! He said the best way to keep your dryer working for a very long time (and to keep your electric bill lower) is to take that filter out and wash it withhot soapy water and an old toothbrush  at least every six months.
He said that increases the life of the dryer at least twice as long! How about that!?!

Learn something new everyday! I certainly didn’t know dryer sheets would do that.
So, I thought I’d share!

Note: I went to my dryer and tested my screen by running water on it. The water ran through a little bit but mostly collected all the water in the mesh screen. I washed it with warm soapy water and a nylon brush and I had it done in 30 seconds. Then when
I rinsed it … the water ran right thru the screen! There wasn’t any puddling at all! That repairman knew what he was talking about!
PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO OTHER PEOPLE IN YOUR ADDRESS BOOK.
NOT ONLY COULD IT SAVE SOMEONE’S HOME, BUT IT COULD SAVE a life!

Calories can be cruel

My Aunt posted this on another blog and I really liked it.  Thanks Tamra!

Calories can be cruel. Sweat through a 30 min workout and you can melt 200. Eat a few bites of that cookie dough ice cream in the freezer and you’re right back where you started. Here are 25 effortless ways to cut 100 calories and in no time that muffin top will be gone!
1. Swap O.J. for the real deal- one fresh orange.
2. Split your bagel with your co-worker or 5 year old.
3. Order pancakes, but hold the butter.
4. Dip your chips in salsa rather than guacamole.
5. Pass up the croutons at the salad bar.
6. Hold the mayo and use only mustard instead.
7. Go bunless- shed your hamburger bun.
8. Drain the heavy syrup from your can of fruit cocktail, then rinse with water before eating.
9. Lay off the potato chips and have a handful of pretzels.
10. Eating two or more slices of pizza? Blot off the grease with a napkin.
11. Have sugar free jell-O instead of pudding. Better your treat jiggle than your thighs.
12. Saute meat and veggies in chicken broth (low sodium is best) instead of oil.
13. Substitute nonfat Greek yogurt for a serving of sour cream…really.
14. Can the cone. Have your ice cream in a bowl. Just not the largest bowl in your cabinet.
15. Use tuna packed in water, not oil.
16. Have 1/2 cup of grapes instead of that tiny box of raisins.
17. Pass up a Wendy’s baked potato with sour cream and chives and chow down on value fries instead. Amazingly true.
18. Skip the two packets of bbq sauce and eat your burger and fries plain.
19. Treat yourself to an ice-cream cone at Mcdonald’s instead of Dairy Queen.
20. Leave the cheese out of your sandwich.
21. Fill your bowl with sorbet instead of ice cream, you can still have an extra 1/2 cup and still slash calories.
22. Get white rice instead of fried with your lemon chicken.
23. Dip your dinner roll in marinara sauce instead of olive oil.
24. Avoid anything breaded. Flour and bread crumbs add more calories, but also absorb oil and butter.
25. Go with the baked potato (butter only) instead of the mashed, as your side of choice.

So True

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To realize
The value of a sister
Ask someone
Who doesn’t have one.

To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.

To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.

To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.

To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother
who has given birth to
A premature baby.

To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train , bus or plane.

To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident.

Time waits for no one.
Treasure every moment you have.

You will treasure it even more when
you can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend or family member:

LOSE ONE.

The origin of this letter is unknown.
But it brings good luck to everyone who passes it on.


809… Yes it is real


I received this from a very good frined of mine today… I wanted to pass it on, I have done some research on this and found that MOST of it is true but NOT all of it is…

We actually received a call last week from the 809 area code. The woman said ‘Hey,this is Karen . Sorry I missed you–get back to usquickly. I have something important to tell you.’ Then she repeated a phone number beginning with 809. We didn’t respond.


Then this week, we received the following e-mail:

“Do Not DIAL AREA CODE 809, 284, AND 876

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION PROVIDED TO US BY AT&T. DON’T EVER DIAL AREA CODE 809”

This one is being distributed all over the US . This is pretty scary, especially given the way they try to get you to call.

Be sure you read this and pass it on.

They get you to call by telling you that it is information about a family member who has been ill or to tell you someone has been arrested, died, or to let you know you have won a wonderful prize, etc. In each case, you are told to call the 809 number right away. Since there are so many new area codes these days, people unknowingly return these calls.

If you call from the U.S., you will apparently be charged $2425 per-minute. (I researched this part and it is not $2424 per min, it is like $20-$100, per call. RG)

Or, you’ll get a long recorded message. The point is, they will try to keep you on the phone as long as possible to increase the charges.

WHY IT WORKS:

The 809 area code is located in the Dominican Republic.The charges afterward can become a real nightmare. That’s because you did actually make the call. If you complain, both your local phone company and your long distance carrier will not want to get involved and will most likely tell you that they are simply providing the billing for the foreign company. You’ll end up dealing with a foreign company that argues they
have done nothing wrong.

Please forward this entire message to your friends, family and colleagues to help them become aware of this scam.


AT&T VERIFIES IT’S TRUE
:
http://www.att.com/gen/press-room?pid=6045

SNOPES VERIFIES IT’S TRUE:
http://www.snopes.com/fraud/telephone/809.asp